How Making Space for Wonder Can Reshape How You Lead
Alberta Stevens
In a world obsessed with clarity, control, and constant forward motion, choosing to stay with tension, to wrestle rather than rush to reinvention, is an act of quiet rebellion.
In an earlier reflection, I shared about the ancient sacred story of Jacob’s long night of struggle: a man torn between his past and future, estranged from his brother, uncertain of his identity. At Peniel, he encounters something vast, unnameable, and wholly other. He wrestles through the night, not to dominate, but to survive. And as dawn breaks, he whispers what many of us learn in our most vulnerable moments:
“I have seen the face of God, and yet I live.”
This is not the cry of a man who won. It is the breath of someone who stayed, someone who wrestled with discomfort and was changed.
A breath drawn in wonder.
A liminal gasp that marks the moment when survival gives way to transformation.
When was the last time you opened yourself to an encounter—one that made you pause in awe?
Wonder Isn’t Always Gentle
We often imagine wonder as soft: sunlight on water, a quiet moment of insight, a peaceful breath after chaos. Sometimes it is. More often, however, wonder arrives like a rupture. It terrifies and transfigures; it interrupts; it invites.
That is where Amelia was when she entered coaching. She had built her life on performance and resilience, like a well-oiled machine that everyone applauded. On the inside, however, she felt like a woman locked in a meeting she never agreed to attend—a meeting where her own voice had gone quiet.
She was successful, but stretched thin, bone-tired, and creatively numb. What emerged in our work together was not a tidy plan or pivot, but a sacred pause; a slow dismantling; a mosaic forming from fragments. She did not need a new direction. She needed space to feel, to notice, to stay present with what was shifting beneath the surface.
Abraham Heschel wrote that “awe is the beginning of wisdom.” Wonder, in this context, is not about spiritual uplift. It is about rupture. It confronts our illusions of control and exposes the smallness of our frameworks. It is the soul’s response when we stand in the presence of something we cannot manage, fix, or fully explain. Sustainable leadership begins from this encounter, not from strategy.
The 5Rs: From Encounter to Integration
Transformation is not a lightning strike. It is a rhythm; a long, slow movement from fragmentation to wholeness. In my coaching work, I have found that the real shift happens not when we rush to adopt new strategies, but when we begin to live from a different centre.
The 5Rs are more than a process. They are a path of return—a leadership arc that moves us from survival to stewardship, from fractured striving to aligned ‘becoming’.
Jacob’s transformation was not an instant glow-up. It was a reckoning. The identity he had built through effort, through cunning, self-protection, and flight, had to be surrendered. At Peniel, he does not emerge polished. He emerges renamed, reframed for purpose. The name does not erase his past; it reinterprets it. The limp stays, and so does the blessing.
We too can behave like Jacob. In boardrooms, in community, and even among friends, we self-edit and compartmentalise. We normalise overwork and wear our exhaustion like badges of honour, mistaking our survival strategies for identity. It does not have to be that way. Transformation begins when we loosen our grip on the personas we have crafted and allow ourselves to be met—in the dark, in the ache, in the presence of something greater than ourselves.
That is the work of the 5Rs:
- Rooting – returning to the ground of our being: memory, longing, covenant, truth
- Releasing – unclenching what no longer serves, even if it once protected us
- Resting – choosing presence over performance; staying with the ache
- Reimagining – allowing our story to be seen in a new light, not erased but reframed
- Realigning – walking forward in congruence, even with a limp, even when the next step is uncertain
Jacob’s story reminds us that the most lasting change often comes not after resolution, but in the liminal space between ache and clarity.
Transcendence and the Shift Within
Psychologist Robert Fuller describes wonder as an allocentric shift; a movement away from obsessive self-focus and toward something greater. For Jacob, it was the encounter that named him. For Amelia, it was the slow, sacred return to desire, presence, and the fearless stewarding of her creative gifts.
These kinds of encounters do not just change our thinking. They rewire our leadership. We move differently; a little slower, perhaps, but with more truth in our spine and more courage in our steps. We may still feel fear, but we are no longer fragmented.
Why Wonder Matters Now
We live in an age that rewards speed, certainty, and constant reinvention. Wonder reminds us that not everything that matters can be hacked or optimised. Some things must be received.
It breaks the spell of performance and stills the anxious question, “What must I do?” Instead, it offers a deeper invitation: “What is being revealed to me here?” This is how we lead differently, not from exhaustion, but from encounter.
Reflection and Invitation
We live in a world that urges us to move on quickly: pivot, rebrand, reinvent. But real transformation rarely works on that timWe live in a world that urges us to move on quickly: pivot, rebrand, reinvent. Real transformation rarely works on that timeline. It asks us to stay with what aches, to notice what is stirring, and to pause long enough for wonder to do its quiet work.
To stay in the tension, to choose presence over performance, to open ourselves to transcendence, is a quiet rebellion in a noisy world.
So I leave you with this:
- Where might you be called to stay present with the ache rather than resolve it?
- When was the last time you encountered something—or someone—that made you pause in awe?
- How might that experience invite you to reimagine what comes next?
The limp may remain. The blessing does too.
You are not behind. You are becoming.
An Invitation to Begin Again
This October (2025), I’m holding space for ten women who are ready to do the brave, layered work of transformation—beyond the performance, beyond the tidy answers.
Together, we’ll move through my signature 5Rs framework: Rooting, Releasing, Resting, Reimagining, and Realigning. You’ll be supported, seen, and challenged as you explore what it means to lead from a place of integrity and inner congruence.
We’ll also walk through three core coaching shifts:
- From Fragmentation to Integration
- From Performance to Presence
- From Misaligned Roles to Stewarded Leadership
This is not mindset coaching. This is legacy work.
It’s for women ready to wrestle honestly with identity, purpose, and creative leadership in a world that often rewards only survival.
- Book a discovery call to explore whether it’s the right fit
- Or reach out at hello@aretequest.co.uk; we’d love to hear from you
You don’t have to rush the reinvention.
Honour the wrestle. Wonder will meet you there.
With encouragement,
Alberta
Leadership Coach at AreteQuest