Katrina entered our coaching conversation during a quiet but significant threshold in her life. She had recently completed a new professional qualification, yet found herself in a role that no longer reflected her skills, values, or aspirations. Her spirit was weary. But beneath the weariness, there was a whisper of longing: a desire to reclaim her creativity, voice, and agency. She wasn’t seeking a complete reinvention. Instead, she was yearning for a reconnection to her values, her courage, and the boundless possibilities within her.
Katrina, a middle manager in her late 40s, had poured the best part of her adult life into roles that kept the bills paid and her children supported, often at the expense of her own dreams. With her youngest now finishing university and a newly earned degree and project management qualification in hand, she stood at a crossroads of new possibility. Despite her qualifications and inner yearning for something more, she still found herself stuck, drained of confidence, under-recognised, and unaligned.
People around her said she should be proud. She told herself she should be grateful. And she was. But still, a quiet ache lingered. A sense that maybe she wasn’t wrong for wanting more. Not wrong for desiring a life that felt more whole, more creative, more aligned with who she is now, not just who she had to be to get by. That’s the space she brought into our first conversation: “I’m tired, Alberta… I am done pretending.”
Her story is not unique. It echoes the silent longings of many midlife women who have dutifully done what was required, only to awaken in this next season asking, what else might be possible?
Listening Beneath the Ache
There are seasons in life when change is not simply a strategy but a necessity. It is not the kind of change we plan, optimise, or hustle into being; it is the quieter kind, the kind that begins with restlessness, an unravelling, or a soft, persistent inner voice whispering, something has shifted.
Henri Nouwen speaks of this inward journey, a movement from the pursuit of relevance to intimacy, from individual heroism to communal vulnerability. In The Way of the Heart, he reminds us that true leadership does not arise from the performance of the false self but from the anchored centre of the beloved self.
Similarly, Parker Palmer, in Let Your Life Speak, urges us to listen for the voice of vocation, not one that shouts, but one that emerges from the deep place where soul meets Spirit. These ideas have shaped not only my life but also the coaching journeys I hold space for.
Many of the high-achieving women I work with arrive not for answers but for a different kind of space, space to remember who they are beneath the roles and rhythms they’ve long carried. These are values-driven women who have spent years holding things together, often at great cost to themselves. They are not looking for a quick fix. They are longing for soulful clarity, clarity that aligns calling, capacity, and courage.
The 5 Rs of Soulful Leadership
Over time, I’ve observed a rhythm in the inner work of leadership. A cadence that mirrors the seasons of the soul and the practice of intentional becoming. I call it the 5 Rs of Soulful Leadership: Rooting, Releasing, Resting, Reimagining, and Realigning.
1. Rooting
The sacred pause where we remember what matters now.
Every soulful shift begins with Rooting. It is the quiet act of stopping long enough to notice the dissonance and to name it without judgement. For many of my clients, it begins not with clarity, but with a whispered confession: I don’t think this life fits anymore.
Rooting invites a return. A reconnection to the values, faith, and personal truths that anchor us. It prompts the questions we often avoid: Where am I standing? What have I silenced in myself? What still matters? In the ancient practice of spiritual direction, this moment of self-examination is sacred ground. In trauma-informed work, it is where psychological safety and clarity begin to form. And in coaching, it lays the first stone of agency and awareness. Without rootedness, true growth cannot take hold.
2. Releasing
The sacred act of letting go.
Once we’ve made contact with what matters, we are confronted with what no longer does. Releasing is not a single moment but a tender unraveling. It requires us to loosen the grip of roles, personas, and survival scripts that once protected us but now keep us small.
This is where perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and over-functioning tend to flare. Old voices rise up, Who am I to want this? What if I fail? Rather than obey them, we are invited to witness them, to thank them, and then, to let them pass. Timothy Gallwey, in The Inner Game of Work, reminds us that most obstacles to fulfilment are internal. Releasing is the work of returning those inner critics to silence, and making space for new language, one shaped by trust, truth, and compassion.
Sometimes, letting go can be painful as it will stir grief, rage or fear and quiet resistances that emerge as we make space for change. In this tension, rituals and practices are cultivated to support us through the release. This too is holy work. As Dr. Anita Phillips teaches, healing requires us to feel what we’ve spent years burying. Releasing is not a task, it is a sacred reckoning.
3. Resting
The sacred pause that renews.
Contrary to the culture that tells us rest must be earned, soulful leadership understands this deeper truth: rest is the work. This stage arrives quietly, in the lull between endings and beginnings. It invites us to stop striving and start listening—to our bodies, our breath, and the deeper rhythms of the Spirit. Resting becomes a way of rebuilding trust, both in ourselves and in the quiet unfolding of God’s path for us.
The importance of rest is becoming more widely recognised as essential to our wellbeing. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, in her book Sacred Rest, identifies seven distinct types of rest; each one vital to our renewal and grounding. Meanwhile, Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, reframes rest as an act of resistance—particularly for those who have been conditioned to equate worth with output and productivity.
Rest is not only about stopping; it is also about allowing ourselves to receive; grace, awe, wonder, and nourishment. In this spacious pause, especially when nurtured through spiritual and nature-informed rituals, we begin to encounter awe beyond ourselves. This kind of encounter often brings about a reawakening that rejuvenates the soul and reinspires the imagination.
4. Reimagining
The sacred spark of creative possibility.
In the stillness of rest, something stirs. Slowly, a different kind of energy returns, not the urgency of hustle, but the shimmer of possibility. Reimagining is where dreams, ideas, and creative longing begin to reawaken. We don’t just think about what could be, we feel it. The body softens. The heart opens. We begin to envision a life and leadership that feel more aligned with who we are becoming, not just who we’ve been expected to be.
This stage is rooted in wholeness. When our nervous system is calm and our soul is grounded, we are better able to discern what is true. Imagination, in this space, is not escapism it’s the cradle of spiritually aligned co-creation. Simon Walker writes in Leading Out of Who You Are that authentic leadership flows from the undefended self. In reimagining, we lay down the polished performance, and let our truest vision begin to take shape.
5. Realigning
The sacred rhythm of congruent living.
Eventually, insight must become motion. Realigning is where what we’ve discovered internally begins to reshape how we move in the world. This is less about doing more and more about living and leading from a place of integration. Our calendar, our boundaries, our relationships, even our ambitions, each becomes a reflection of the clarity we’ve cultivated.
Realigning isn’t always grand or sweeping. Often, it shows up in the quiet decisions, the no that makes room for a deeper yes, the habit restructured, the work week reimagined. Cal Newport calls this slow productivity, a way of working that honours depth over speed. His approach speaks to our internal relationship with how we work, encouraging a pace and presence that align with what matters most.
Dan Allender, on the other hand, calls us to align with who we are. In his book To Be Told, he reminds us that our callings are not discovered in isolation but in the context of community. Realigning here means integrating our identity, story, and purpose in relationship with others. We don’t realign alone. We realign as part of a wider story, shaped by those who know us and walk beside us…
The full version of this reflection, including Katrina’s full coaching story, is available on The Soulful Ascent, my Substack space for soulful leadership, purpose, and spiritual renewal.
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An Invitation to Begin
The 5 Rs form the foundation of my Self-Discovery and Leadership Mastery programmes. These are not prescriptive coaching offers, but reflective, soulful journeys for leaders, creatives, and high-capacity women navigating transitions—especially those holding the tension between faith, purpose, and social justice.
When we tend to our soul first, we make space to reimagine lives, businesses, and legacies that feel deeply aligned with our true selves. The 5 Rs are not rigid steps. They are a sacred rhythm, a spiral that moves us closer to integration and wholeness.
So if you find yourself in the midst of uncertainty, with your heart quietly aching for what’s next, allow yourself to be present with that ache. Do not rush to numb it. Instead, welcome it. Listen to the longings within you. They are not burdens to carry. They are invitations guiding you toward the next step in your journey. Speak to a trusted friend. Or find a soulful leadership coach who can walk with you through this sacred threshold.
This is the work. This is the way of the soulful leadership ascent. It is an invitation to lean into the discomfort of growth and to trust that even in the uncertainty, your deepest longings are leading you to a life and leadership that are profoundly aligned with your essence.
Read the full piece and subscribe at: thesoulfulascent.substack.com